1. I don’t even know what happening anymore. I have so many articles backed up that I should be reading, I don’t. I have plans that should be made, but I stopped thinking of them.

    I sit and play stamina based iPhone games switching from game to game once I run out of energy. And when they are all on cooldown I zone out, unaware of what going on around me.

    Best part my body going numb from 2 days of blacking out in a row. My body was paralyzed for 3 hours in a house of people and one person wants to get mad at me because he sat there yelling at me and didn’t even try to see if I was ok.

    I feel like a hospital patient living on life support, that not the way I want keep going.

  2. And in that moment I realized I became a problem yet again.

    A static shock is pulsating in my chest and jolting through my body. Breathing became harder, hands started shaking, arms are now hurting. For a pain that wasn’t real a moment ago it hurts a lot (mental pain turned physical)

  3. I regret giving a lot of people a chance in getting to know them and trying to get a long with them. I could of just kept to myself my whole life and turned into one of those kids that doesn’t care about human interactions and stay in their rooms all day.

    I would be a lot smarter and I wouldn’t feel the sense of loneliness because I would never of had the distractions or the feelings of being with people in the first place.

    I would be a lot less trouble to people now since I would probably be in college on my own with no one needing to worry about me.

    I wouldn’t get jealous at every social networking picture, check in, status update because I wouldn’t care if I was included, I probably wouldn’t even use any of them.

    I hate 98% of the people I ever came in contact with and wish they were all dead.

  4. Some how i need to make it to this Saturday so I can spend time with good company finally.

    Some how i need to make it to this Saturday so I can spend time with good company finally.

  5. "I don’t need 200 people saying we are friends. I just need 1-3 people who can prove to me that we are friends."
    Depressed and Alone Panda
  6. If you let the mental pain build up it eventually turns into a physical pain within the body. Eventually all the hurting leads to self harm (Cutting, Overdosing, Etc) and then if there is no release still then Suicide is imminent.

    If you let the mental pain build up it eventually turns into a physical pain within the body. Eventually all the hurting leads to self harm (Cutting, Overdosing, Etc) and then if there is no release still then Suicide is imminent.

  7. heronqueen:

    DO YOU EVER NEED TO JUST TAKE SOMEONE BY THE SHOULDERS AND YELL “I CARE ABOUT YOU A LOT AND I NEED AFFIRMATION THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE” AT THEM BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO THAT A LOT



    Everyone preaching stay around and live, but no one showing that my existence actually matters.

    If I care about you then I’ve told you over and over. I’ve showed how much I care by being there for them. Worrying about them and checking up on them. So why is it so many people can say stay around  but no one can actually reach out to me or give me a solid reason for staying.

  8. Last night I tried, had a few drinks and in between each I took a few sleeping aids, later in the night opened a bottle and popped a few more. Being around fake people is hard to deal with. I just want to know when i’m going to see my Big Bro or when i’m going to hang out with someone I actually like.

    Last night I tried, had a few drinks and in between each I took a few sleeping aids, later in the night opened a bottle and popped a few more. Being around fake people is hard to deal with. I just want to know when i’m going to see my Big Bro or when i’m going to hang out with someone I actually like.

  9. I look at old messages to remind myself, why I’m holding on. I still remember how random this message came across to me. You took the time from doing chores to warn me about the weather. I smile a little every time I read this. It just makes me think “wow someone was actually worried about me”

    I look at old messages to remind myself, why I’m holding on. I still remember how random this message came across to me. You took the time from doing chores to warn me about the weather. I smile a little every time I read this. It just makes me think “wow someone was actually worried about me”

  10. If the only time I hear from you is when you need something, we aren’t friends.

    If you yell at me for every little thing and question all my actions, we aren’t friends.

    If you can’t understand my reasons for holding on to something or someone, when I’ve explained it multiple times, we probably aren’t friends.

    There a big difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Friends are people you choose to hang out with. People you reach out to at least once or twice a week. Someone who helps you when you need it. These are what makes friends. Just because I see you multiple times a week doesn’t make us friends at all.

    I don’t have friends, for whatever reason I’m not good enough to socialize or talk to.

About me

Who am I? I am a boy early to mid 20s. Who shouldn't have been created, But now that I'm here I wish everyday that I could disappear. Sounds depressing but I'm not all gray clouds and raindrops. Check out my LIKES they better describe the person I am inside. The blog is the person I am on the outside.

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